A Report of the Events of the 5th Day of July, 2007

When Dr. Shrum found me three long years ago, I was in a dark place. Spiritually and emotionally, I was nothing. I'd given in to all easy temptations, and having so indulged, I could never get enough; I would and did do anything to have more. Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack gave me a mission, a reason to live.

This is why I find it difficult to describe the events of the 5^th of July. But I owe it to you, loyal Project Jet Pack supporters, who have invested so much - in time, prayer, and monetary donations - to get us to this stage. I must unburden myself of this knowledge.

Spirits were high before the launch. Kevin assisted me in fastening the test subject cadaver to the jet pack, a task that proved difficult due to bloating, which became ever worse as the July sun beat down upon the corpse.

After nearly two hours, sweat-drenched and exhausted, I was finally able to release the Bell Aerosystems launch safety switch.

I joined the PJP team behind the Plexiglas barrier where, over the rhythmic Baptist chanting of Deacon McGerbert, Dr. Shrum gave a final blessing of the prototype Bell Aerosystems design. On the count of twelve, Dr. Shrum pressed the launch trigger.

The blast was deafening. The prototype exploded, sending steel shrapnel almost 500 meters into the air, and spattering the glass barrier with rotting human viscera.

In Dr. Shrum's rush to provide lift sufficient to launch ever more massive people into the air, we had simply pushed the Bell Aerosystems design too far. Thrust exceeded 2000 lbf, and stability readings vacillated wildly, breaking the 100,000 Hz level that could have killed us all. Over 96% of the prototype and test cadaver were disintegrated.

We stood stunned over the wreckage, particulate human remains still raining down upon us. We then set out silently, each of us on our own, for the long hike away from the testing grounds.

I don't know how anyone can interpret these results as anything other than a complete and utter failure, an abomination that leaves me questioning my faith in God. We have wasted millions of dollars, and denied a good Christian man a proper burial. I feel aimless; I do not know where to turn. It seems that God, if there is such a thing, has abandoned me.

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