Dear Friends and Project Jet Pack Followers,
The progress of Project Jet Pack over these past seven months has been nothing short of miraculous. The PJP team believes we now have a functioning prototype of the improved Bell Aerosystem design, combined with the proprietary Haeftaeman™ triple reinforced jet pack harness. However, for scientific testing to continue, we need your help.
Through our loose affiliation with the University of Iowa, we have submitted a request for a donated corpse for use in the first stage of open-air scientific testing. But the waiting list is long, and the chances of being awarded a specimen of sufficient mass are slim. Herb suggested that he could procure an acceptable test subject through his channels, but I have instructed him to relent while I make this appeal to our loyal readers and fans:
If you or a loved one are terminally ill and have a body mass in excess of 250 kilograms, please contact Project Jet Pack immediately about making a scientific donation. Project Jet Pack will promptly send you a prepaid FedEx shipping label for overnight shipping of up to 300 kilograms, along with detailed shipping instructions.
We need your help - won't you please give someone the gift of life, and the gift of flight?
Peace & Love,
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum
CORPSE DONATION CONTACT:
McGerbert & Associates Public Relations
Herbert F. McGerbert
Managing Partner
44 120th St. NW
Swisher, IA 52338
pr@projectjetpack.com
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