In the Project Jet Pack Blog Mail Bag, Dr. Shrum answers the questions of PJP blog readers just like you. If you have a question for Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum, please send an e-mail to dr.shrum@projectjetpack.com.
To: dr.shrum@projectjetpack.com
Subject: Test Pilots
Dr. Shrum,
Dear Mr. Aldrin,
I thank you for your interest in doing the Lord's work through Dr. Jacob Robert's Shrum's Project Jet Pack. I can assure you, Project Jet Pack would never discriminate on the basis of age. In fact, my scientific research has proven conclusively that God's love accretes in our bodies over time in the form of medichlorians, which are the products of intense prayer and silent reflection. So the older you get (provided you spend your years in tune with Jesus' Baptist teachings), the better able you become to participate in Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack.
Unfortunately, to be eligible to be a PJP test pilot, you must have a body mass of at least 250 kilograms, which I fear disqualifies you. Under- and average-weight Americans simply have no need for a medical lift response solitary flight solution. I wish you the Lord Jesus' light in all your future endeavors.
Peace & Love,
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum
Michigan Department of Attorney General
6 Penn Plaza Building
Mr. Jacob R. Shrum
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack
Swisher, IA 52338
Dear Mr. Shrum,
The Office of the Attorney General of the State of
Your organization, fashioning itself as "Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack," may be in violation of several provisions of the Michigan Penal Code, including Mich. Comp. Laws § 750.160 (mutilation and defacement of a human body); Mich. Comp. Laws § 750.160(c) (failure to properly dispose of dead human body); and Mich. Comp. Laws § 339.1805 (unlicensed handling of a dead human body). A felony conviction under any of these provisions carries a $50,000 fine and up to ten years in prison.
In accordance with the enclosed subpoena, you are required to produce to this office by June 1, 2008 all records concerning the explosion that occurred on or about July 5, 2007 within the borders of the State of Michigan, the identity of the corpse, portions of which were found at the site of this explosion, and a written account of the events of that day. Furthermore, this office has been unable to find any record of incorporation or non-profit status for "Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack." Please provide the taxpayer ID and any other names by which your organization is known.
[Signature]
Charles Vilsap
Assistant Attorney General
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack will assist you in this investigation in any way it can. To that end, I can assure you, everything you have been told is a lie. Accordingly, this organization will not be producing any documents to the government. There is much too much of the Lord's work to be done for us to spend our time responding to every baseless allegation directed at us by those with questionable motives, who persecute believers such as ourselves.
Peace, Love & the Lord's Light to You,
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum
Share: ♦Digg ♦del.icio.us ♦Technorati