Saturday, May 10, 2008

Mail Bag


In the Project Jet Pack Blog Mail Bag, Dr. Shrum answers the questions of PJP blog readers just like you. If you have a question for Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum, please send an e-mail to dr.shrum@projectjetpack.com.

From: bzzaldrn@*****.com
To: dr.shrum@projectjetpack.com
Subject: Test Pilots

Dr. Shrum,
I have a background in astronautics, having spent a lengthy career as a pilot in various capacities. Although I am an older American, I feel that I still have something to contribute to the cause of aeronautic research. Do you have an age limitation for applications to become test pilots in your upcoming jetpack research studies?
Thank you in advance for your response.
Edwin Aldrin, Jr.

Dear Mr. Aldrin,

I thank you for your interest in doing the Lord's work through Dr. Jacob Robert's Shrum's Project Jet Pack. I can assure you, Project Jet Pack would never discriminate on the basis of age. In fact, my scientific research has proven conclusively that God's love accretes in our bodies over time in the form of medichlorians, which are the products of intense prayer and silent reflection. So the older you get (provided you spend your years in tune with Jesus' Baptist teachings), the better able you become to participate in Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack.

Unfortunately, to be eligible to be a PJP test pilot, you must have a body mass of at least 250 kilograms, which I fear disqualifies you. Under- and average-weight Americans simply have no need for a medical lift response solitary flight solution. I wish you the Lord Jesus' light in all your future endeavors.

Peace & Love,
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum



Michigan Department of Attorney General
6 Penn Plaza Building
Petoskey, MI 49770

May 9, 2008

Mr. Jacob R. Shrum
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack
44 120th St. NW
Swisher, IA 52338

RE: MI-AG Investigation No. 49031A - "Project Jet Pack"

Dear Mr. Shrum,

The Office of the Attorney General of the State of Michigan is conducting an inquiry into purported scientific testing conducted by your organization in this state on July 5, 2007. Public complaints led to an inquiry by a task force consisting of officers from the Michigan State Police and Department of Natural Resources. This inquiry uncovered and documented evidence of an unauthorized explosion near the Gogebic Gorge, and the unlawful mutilation of a human corpse.

Your organization, fashioning itself as "Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack," may be in violation of several provisions of the Michigan Penal Code, including Mich. Comp. Laws § 750.160 (mutilation and defacement of a human body); Mich. Comp. Laws § 750.160(c) (failure to properly dispose of dead human body); and Mich. Comp. Laws § 339.1805 (unlicensed handling of a dead human body). A felony conviction under any of these provisions carries a $50,000 fine and up to ten years in prison.

In accordance with the enclosed subpoena, you are required to produce to this office by June 1, 2008 all records concerning the explosion that occurred on or about July 5, 2007 within the borders of the State of Michigan, the identity of the corpse, portions of which were found at the site of this explosion, and a written account of the events of that day. Furthermore, this office has been unable to find any record of incorporation or non-profit status for "Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack." Please provide the taxpayer ID and any other names by which your organization is known.

Sincerely,

[Signature]
Charles Vilsap
Assistant Attorney General

Dear Mr. Vilsap,

Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack will assist you in this investigation in any way it can. To that end, I can assure you, everything you have been told is a lie. Accordingly, this organization will not be producing any documents to the government. There is much too much of the Lord's work to be done for us to spend our time responding to every baseless allegation directed at us by those with questionable motives, who persecute believers such as ourselves.

Peace, Love & the Lord's Light to You,
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum

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