In the newest feature on Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum's Project Jet Pack Blog, Dr. Shrum answers the questions of PJP blog readers. If you have a question for Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum, please send an e-mail to dr.shrum@projectjetpack.com.
From: rdominguez@*****.edu
To: dr.shrum@projectjetpack.com
Subject: Effective Exhaust Velocity
Dear Mr. Shrum,
I'm part of a group of engineers here at the University of ******** developing a rocket for entry into the next phase of the X-Prize private space-travel competition. I recently read a report that you have successfully tested a rocket prototype, and was hoping you could settle a dispute among members of our development team. Given an Effective Exhaust Velocity ("EEV") governed by the equation c=Fg/W, and a propellant flow rate (W) of 65 vph, what did you find to be the minimum effective thrust (F), given gravity acceleration at sea level? I've been running computer simulations that yield values as low as 211 lb., but my colleague, Dr. A.G. Thomas, insists his calculation of 254 lb is correct. We'd like to come to a mathematical conclusion on paper before we conduct a test launch and risk a failure or (even if the chances are exceedingly small for a properly prepared rocket experiment) an explosion. Your input would be most welcome.
Very truly yours,
Rudy Dominguez, Ph.D.
Rudy,
In the spirit of scientific camaraderie, I'm happy to help. My first piece of advice is to abandon this so-called "X-Prize" contest. Jet packs should not be developed to win some petty cash prize. Creating jet packs is the Lord's work; they should not be bent to the nefarious purposes of demon-barons like Richard Branson. For that matter, I simply do not believe in nonsensical equations like your "c=Fg/W." Mathematical equations are dreamed up by godless men who wish only to distract us from the true Answer: Prayer + Frequent Deep-Gorge Testing = Success.
On your current path, you simply cannot succeed. Please contact me when you have abandoned your fool's errand; you could be useful to our efforts here in Iowa. Thank you for your question!
Peace & Love,
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum
From: gojays@*******.com
To: dr.shrum@projectjetpack.com
Subject: Wellness programs
Dear Doctor Shrum,
I commend you on your success in fund raising for your project. I wonder if you've considered focusing your spending on health and wellness programs for the obese, rather than on a jet pack they would use only after they've fallen ill, and then only when they've done so in a gorge. Most physicians agree that all but the most afflicted (one in five, perhaps) can benefit from a steady regimen of exercise. There is a conspicuous lack of facilities for the obese poor to work out, though, which is something your group could surely help with.
-Jay Vendershere
Jay,
It's easy for people who have never been obese or stranded in a gorge to downplay the importance of deep-gorge rescue of the medically needy. I assure you, if I was meant to develop gyms and work-out equipment, the Lord would have told me so, loud and clear. And I simply dispute your numbers. For every one person who tells me they could benefit from exercise, ten more tell me of their crying needs for an emergency solitary flight solution. When you earn your doctorate in Aeronautical Engineering, then maybe you can tell people how to allocate their resources. Until then, try to get your facts straight. Thank you for your question!
Peace, Love & the Good Lord's Graces to You,
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum
From: herbertmcgerbert@gmail.com
To: dr.shrum@gmail.com
Subject: the good work you do
Greetings Dr. Shrum,
I write to tell you that ten of my friends and family members have all come to me with the word that they are in dire need of an emergency solitary flight solution, and not for empty promises regarding the effects of exercise. (These are just the facts). My question is: won't you be continuing the Lord's work to bring this unprecedented scientific advance to the obese Americans that need it?
With kindest regards, I am,
Sincerely yours,
Herbert F. McGerbert
Managing Partner
McGerbert & Associates Public Relations
44 120th St. NW
Swisher, IA 52338
herbertmcgerbert@gmail.com
Dearest Herbert,
What choice do we have but to follow God's plan? If, to a 10-to-1 ratio, people need jet packs instead of Soloflexes, of course I will continue on this all-important mission. Thank you for your question!
Peace, Love, Grace, and the Lord Jesus Christ's Eternal Blessing to You and Your Kin From Now Until the Rapture,
Dr. Jacob Robert Shrum
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